jeudi 28 janvier 2016

New year, new look, new prospects

I haven't written on this blog for a while. I haven't written anywhere but in my very private journal for a while. Probably because I didn't feel like it anymore. Or because there wasn't much to tell. Or because I forgot. Or... Well, probably because of many reasons at the same time. The same reasons that make people stop doing anything. Yet, for the last couple of weeks, I have felt this itch to write again and to share it with "the world". My shrink would say that this is all because of my generation: we are in the celebration of the self and we want to see our life like a movie in which we would of course be the main protagonists. With an original soundtrack and everything... And my guru would tell me to observe myself and not to judge, to accept who I am and what I feel, and just be happy with it. 

So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So things are going to be slightly shaken up here. 

First of all, yes, I will be writing in English. But not only. I have decided it was time to embrace my multilingualism and not to always have to choose. Sometimes I feel like speaking English. Sometimes, I think in French. Sometimes I  just fail to think at all, and you might be the witness of that too... If you are not English-speakers, you're not reading this note anyways, so I'm not going to apologize.

Second of all, I want to write more about what I feel, and what I think, rather than what I've accomplished. My shrink and my guru would congratulate me for that. I'm letting go of the unattainable illusion of the perfect mother, the perfect teacher, the perfect wife, the perfect neighbor, the perfect colleague, the perfect woman. I yell at my daughter when I know I shouldn't; I sometimes don't feel like correcting my students' homework, or to go to class at all; my house is only clean 12 hours per week, I use sarcasm - extensively - and have a big tendency to exaggerate things to emphasize them, or just because I think it's funny; I hate my neighbours: they don't respect anything and they smell bad; I indulge in gossiping at work and I actually enjoy it; and I have recently gained two kilos for eating crisps and frozen macarons in front of the freezer while my husband was asleep. Also I haven't done any of my sports routines in two weeks. 

I thought it was better to come out clean for a fresh start, right?

What about your resolutions for 2016?

See ya!

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